i was born a porn star she said
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
