So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It's just like the Real World with babies
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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