yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He is an equal opportunity slut.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
