Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
