is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize