On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
