Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
now i know why i became what i already was.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
