look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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