Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
