We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
