whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
