Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
