He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
