On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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