she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
