legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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