What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
