If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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