i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
