with your own penis?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
