He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize