Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i out mim tonsoeep
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