ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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