I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
