yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
