I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
