girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
