allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize