And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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