What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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