Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
