So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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