You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
