You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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