Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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