And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
