I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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