I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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