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• (925): View more from California

  It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?

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