no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
