I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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