I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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