i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
