I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
