I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize