dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
