Ketchup is God's man juice
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
