you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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