i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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