how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
