I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
