i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Let's get the cat blown out
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
