belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
