Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize