Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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