he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
