Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
