It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
