Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
