rhymes with "ouble enetration"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
