you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
