Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
