i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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