i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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